Aug 31 2008
Not-So-Great Expectations
And on the subject on life inspiring art, I got this one from two otherwise awesome people getting my gender wrong in the same day. (For those of you who haven’t figured it out from the about page: I’m a girl.) Also influenced by the main question of this post; while I think it might be reading slightly more into the situation than is actually there, one can apply it to the world itself.
It’s not a subject I’m particularly happy about, but it is there: There are many positions, careers, hobbies and other sorts of things for which people will assume a certain gender unless proven otherwise. You talk about a nurse, a quilter, or a secretary, and don’t specify a name, most people will guess it’s a woman you’re talking about. Bring up a doctor, an automobile aficionado, or, apparently, a role-playing blogger, and they’ll assume male.
Now, annoying though this may be, it can also serve as an excellent world-building tool. And it doesn’t even have to be gender-based. Take the average D&D world. When you’ve got races that as a matter of crunch have aptitudes in different directions, it’s to be expected that certain types will gravitate towards certain fields—people expect alchemists to be gnomes, for instance, and tend to be surprised to see half-orcs in non-martial disciplines.
So where does this come from? Part of it, of course, is natural aptitude. While it can often be a reason for these kinds of presuppositions, it isn’t always: just look at the real world. (I’ll get to those sorts of stereotypes later.) Typically, these things are grounded in some sort of observable difference, whether it’s real, a result of factors that have little to do with inborn traits, cultural to one subset of a group and nobody’s bothering to tell the difference, or some other factor.
Then there’s examples where a certain role is foisted off on people, or barred to them. For a historical example, consider the association in many people’s worldview between Jews and banking. This one isn’t aptitude-based at all—it came from the fact that for quite a while in Europe, they weren’t allowed to do much of anything else. In time, what began as “You’ll do this because nobody else wants to/because you can’t do this other thing” becomes a tendency to fall into that role anyway becomes the assumption that the group occupying that role is somehow more suited to it.
Sometimes it’s just a societal feedback loop—take the preponderance of women with textile-related activities. Whether it’s actually true or not, hardly anyone hears about men doing it as often (aside from some of the Big Names in fashion, anyway).
Then we have combinations of the above, and for this we have the classic example of the female gamer; this article is one of my best explanations I’ve seen. It’s a number of factors: the fact that it’s been a “boys’ hobby” for a while, the stereotype about not being able to enjoy or understand the crunch and the infamous “DM’s girlfriend” stereotype, that sort of thing. But here it is, and what can we do to change it but be living counterexamples?
Are these sorts of expectations and stereotypes a good thing? Not on your life. Might they be an interesting way to give a world a little more color, make an NPC just a bit less likable to the group, or create obstacles for the PCs to have to surmount? Definitely. Is it worth it? It can be.
Great blog and I like the subject matter. Will be coming to visit you again.
Yanjiaren: Thanks!
Greywulf: Yeah. But just being isn’t all of it; there’s work to be done.
Tom: Yep! Though I find it’s often fun to create a different version of the race in question, that requires few to no stat adjustments and fills a somewhat different role, and see how that works out. What everyone does gets a little old.
Jonathan: Heh. The scary part is, I could see someone make that work. …and yeah, I got some idea about the sciences. Molecular biology major, what can I say?
Justaguy: Don’t blame you. The reason why it bugged me is that–well, since I’m going to be published anyway, I used my real name on the about page, and it isn’t exactly one of those ones you can’t tell one way or the other with. And I needed ideas, and there it was.
Ishmayl: Wow, really? Go right ahead; thanks! Could probably get a pretty good dialogue going.
Apotheon: Where to start? Where, oh where, to start?
Okay, first, the condescension. Yeah, it was pushing it a little, I’ll grant that.
But the other part of it…. okay, imagine for a moment you’ve got your own gaming newbie. First time he–and I’ll use he for this argument–has ever played. And he probably has some serious misapprehensions about the game, ones you or someone else has really had to talk him through. And everybody’s been talking up how much fun it is, and he’s expecting it to be exciting.
Would you all agree to kill his character in the first five minutes? After all, it’s not just automatically a bad idea to assume that someone clearly inexperienced is a target for a murderer, right? You might say that this is an invalid comparison, as the female player still has her character at the end of the session. But let me ask you one more question: How many gamers are survivors of attempted murder? I doubt the number is anything like 1 in 4–and that’s the reported statistics, mind you. And NOBODY says that a murder victim “asked for it”.
Besides, our demographic has a bit of a reputation when it comes to women already. Even if you write off the way they’re portrayed in many movies, shows, and comics, there’s the real world–I’d like to invite you to read this article: http://bullyscomics.blogspot.com/2008/08/serious-note.html And there’s a forum with a heavily female demographic, in which many threads dealing with these sorts of issues are marked “trigger warning”, for a reason. This is a serious issue, apotheon.
As to the rest of your analogies: do you realize how silly you sound?
Edit: one last thing. The points the article made were specifically when dealing with people being brought into the hobby. With the more experienced… well, I’m of the opinion that some elements should be agreed on within the group. We ask first. They don’t want to deal with it, we find a narrative way around it. It’s that simple.
….okay. First thing… it’s a work of fiction. That means the world is allowed to bend a little to the needs of those who are working with it. Some people really don’t like playing with that much realism. Particularly those who have reason to. If they feel like facing it, particularly if it’s a demon of theirs, power to them, but yes, there should be a choice to at least get some distance from the subject. Short version: DON’T TRIGGER YOUR PLAYERS! …there, righteous indignation clear for now.
Second: The analogy is more apt than you might think. Part of the clear and present danger issue. What they’re getting at is that the thing to fear is the combination of intent and means. Intent as symbolized through the behavior of the session, means as represented by the firearm at the belt. With only one, there is nothing to fear. With both…. it’s a different story.
Third: I’m not assuming you pretend it doesn’t. I’m pointing out that this is why they come in careful. We-as-geeks have a particular reputation, after all; I would prefer that we not make it worse than it already is. (Particularly since I’m supposed to be recruiting new people into the hobby here!)
And actually, the line in the article I linked drawn between “don’t rape the character” and the ascetic virgin is in the paragraph after that section–if you read through it, you’ll realize that the authors go on to discuss sex in-game that isn’t forced. Including, in an all-female group, that being a heavy element of the game they ended up playing, through character choice. The point is the choice; once people can establish a comfort-zone in the hobby and in the gameworld, they’ll spread out, try things you might not expect. Like I said before, this is a guide for bringing in newbies, not for dealing with experienced players once they’re already there.
I don’t mean to offend, just to get the point to you; there are differences in experience that are going to make all the difference. I don’t think you’ve been there; I’ll admit, I haven’t personally been there–but I know people who have, and I’ve learned from them about what to do and what to avoid. If people are facing their demons in my games, it’s because they choose to; they’re here to have fun, after all, not to rehash old nightmares.
I’m astonished by the commentary in this…especially by apotheon…
I am not a gamer, but I am a fantasy writer, and a woman, and I find all of this fascinating. Apotheon’s response to a really interesting post, though, makes me more reluctant to enter the world of gaming…
At least with my writing, I am in control of events (to a certain extent). And I can use my writing to blast at the mysogyny I see far too clearly in apotheon’s anger.
Apotheon: That’s why I was hoping you’d address my points and not continue on the post; there are a lot of issues that do matter. The primary one being Thou Shalt Not Trigger Traumatic Memories in Thy Players Without Their Permission, and it is statistically more probable that you will trigger a female player than a male one with the inclusion of rape. Hence why we ASK FIRST.
Shakespeare: Please, don’t let the noisy 10% turn you against the hobby. I’ve been through six or seven different game groups, and honestly, I’ve never seen anyone who didn’t immediately do an about-face upon the realization that they’d just pulled a player out of their comfort zone. The important part is to have the full group enjoying themselves, after all.
(If you want, I can show you what I consider an average game session to be sometime, at least as far as my groups are concerned; it wouldn’t be too hard for me to email you a game-log or link you to a version with the tabletalk edited out. Email or PM me on the forum, ‘kay?)
Apotheon: Tone it down, all right?
My comment was no more dismissive than the riff on “wimmin’s lib” which I think I can safely assume was what triggered Shakespeare’s comment. Honestly, at this point we’ve both gone beyond logic; I understand where you’re coming from, but the way you’re getting it across is really starting to get people’s backs up, and I’m having a hard time responding without wanting to get more argumentative than I really should be at this stage.
…..and like I said several comments ago, the issue was not that there was sex in the game. Read the following section, and why don’t we both take a little while away from this, come back when you’re not defensive and I’m not being a champion of the demographic, and maybe we can hash this out.
And please, don’t insult the other commenters.