Exchange of Realities

Family events trump games (though would I have said the same thing if I knew what we were going to be doing?), so I don’t have any current events to report. Instead, in the vein of NPC independence, a note from one of the locals. The group really isn’t too bad about not recognizing their NPCs have their own existences, but they can be a little tunnel-vision-y about this one.

We’ve known each other for about a year, haven’t we?

And yet, despite all the excitement, despite the fact that you’ve been under my roof for the last few months, I sometimes wonder if you know me at all.

I realize my absence over the first few seasons didn’t help matters any, and neither did my overinvolvement with my work once we returned. But duty is always first, particularly when one has fallen behind for so long.

I feel, though, that too much of your view of me has been colored by that one incident. Yes, it was very long in resolution. Yes, the repercussions with the demons are still pretty much constant. Yes, it wasn’t exactly the best demonstration of my ability to take care of myself, and I do appreciate your having picked up the slack for me on that. Yes, neither the Zora incident nor that mess when we were retrieving Anathema particularly helped matters. You so conveniently forget, though, that neither of those was my fault. And really, talking about my tendencies, my agendas or my future as if I’m not there doesn’t help matters in the slightest. You are fortunate that I still owe you.

The others say I’ve changed quite a bit since my return. Yes, there are places I still can’t feel calm in; yes, there are many fights still that on my own I can never win. But there are ones that I can hold my own in, now—need I remind you of the time with Shadowchaser? And unlike certain among you, I know how to get clear of a mess without announcing my presence to all and sundry in hostile territory. Perhaps more importantly, I know when to run away, and how to tell when running would be advantageous.

You tell me I’m walking into a trap. At least this time I know it and can plan for it. And do remember that not all traps are for me, and on my own I can avoid them.

I will return from this task; how can I not? I still have politics to play and errors to rectify. Someone needs to finish the job begun by Crochnuit llai Fais—if not me, then who?

My name is Satsu Kiara. I create my own destiny. I am not rescuebait.