Exchange of Realities

GV goes domestic!

The heroes are going to come to you. Between the Laws of Dramatics and the fact that they’re so reactive that if you were to take science into your world-rules they’d spontaneously combust, how can they not?

So of course, you’ll want to let your building do the work for you. I’m not going to tell you about all the obvious things, like the statues that breathe fire or come to life, the trapdoors in the audience room… if you didn’t already know about those, you wouldn’t be here. No, I’m going to talk about the more subtle ways to mess with said protagonists.

Take the entrances. You know that if they’ve got common sense, they’ll try to sneak in the window. This is the perfect opportunity to put your green thumb to use. Thistles or brambles are very good for startling a yell out of incoming sneakers as they run into the natural defenses. If you want to be more subtle, so are roses. Or if you’ve got the climate for it, why not have a high window that someone can reach by climbing a palm tree? The thorns on the frond-stems are nice and vicious. But it doesn’t always have to be this obvious; if they’re carefully avoiding the windows that have sharp things growing under them, or the ones that have obvious traps, they might miss the ones that are wreathed with poison ivy, or whose sills are infested with nasty biting insects or just poorly sanded and prone to splinter. Sure, it’s not as damaging, but the itch should make it difficult for them to sneak, I can’t imagine it making it any easier for them to hold their weapons, and they’ll be annoyed and easier to throw off-balance.

Why not keep geese outside? They’re enemies of all that lives, perfectly suited for people like us, and if someone tries to sneak in, you’ll hear about it. Besides, it throws the good guys off to have something so utterly—white—hanging out around a black-walled castle.

And how about those chandeliers? We’ve all heard about the hero who cuts a support and drops it on one of our more foolish fellows. But they’re bound to get complacent. And it’s so easy to make those ropes connect to things other than the chandelier. Weights above where they’re likeliest to cut it, for instance. Or what about arranging things so that sure, they’ll drop the chandelier, and sure, you’re standing right under it—but it’s got a second support, not strong enough to hold it up, but strong enough to alter its trajectory just the slightest bit. For that matter, just know where the silly things land, and don’t stand there.

Here’s one of my favorites. Consider the hero’s choice of weaponry. So often, they go for those amazingly large swords that only just manage to fit through the standard doorway. Big, fancy four-loaf cleavers, the ones that just scream out “Guess what I’m compensating for!” Now, imagine what happens if the dimensions of your door are altered just the slightest bit. A little less width, a little lower on the top beam. In walks the hero, his four-loaf cleaver strapped to his back…. and the tip catches on one side. And the hilt catches on the other. It doesn’t slow him down much, but in that one second when he realizes that he’s not dealing with standard architecture, he’s distracted. Traps, anyone? Or you can just stand there and laugh at the look on his face as he hurries through the door and gets snapped back by his sheath-straps.

We will be providing additional ways of wearing the heroes down, particularly once the documents with the edges that can cut through diamond make it out of the testing phase. Until next time!

Looking for more Generic Villainy?  Try here.