Exchange of Realities

The love story is a timeless classic, one that has been passed down through the ages and even has a genre to itself. We get that. While that does give it a great deal of appeal, it also means that many of the people looking at such have seen it all before. How do we keep the attention of the romantically jaded?

We make it different. And the best way to make it different is to attack it at the character level. Most people are pretty good at making their characters individual on their own—but then they get together with someone, and all that characterization gets subsumed in a sea of romantic cliché with ‘edgy’ modifications. Nothing really changes.

Let’s fix that, shall we? It’s a simple thing: unique characters will have their own ways of behaving when in a pairing, and all we have to do is look for them.

One is what they find romantic. Sure, there’s the concerts, dancing, chocolate and flowers, walks under the moonlight or in the mist, the ’special outfit’ or ‘our song’, and of course the requisite cuddling in its many forms. But what about the other things? How about double-teaming an activity both halves of the couple enjoy? Getting into pun wars or banter for banter’s own sake? Collaborating on upcoming projects, even ones that might not be as enjoyable solo? Heck, getting into and out of situations ranging from mildly desperate to life-threatening together? (Let me put it this way: my last Valentine’s Day involved music class, game mechanics, and creepy-toned anime, and my idea of a romantic hike as often as not incorporates impromptu lessons in biology and geology, when the emphasis isn’t on plans for world domination.)

Another is how they choose to display affection. Yes, some couples are touchy-feely. But with others, you wouldn’t know they were together-together until they start talking, and the conversation comes out as a continuation of a game so long-running nobody remembers the score. Do they downplay their attraction for the sake of the bitter singles around them? Do they play their couple-ness for laughs? Make a point of inviting any third wheels present into the conversation?

The romance doesn’t even need to factor into how they communicate. What about twitting each other about the differences in their interests? They could practically speak a language of allusions and references. And there’s always tending to finish each other’s sentences.

Speaking of differences in interests, or differences in much of anything else, they’re going to exist. While a successful couple will probably have figured out how to work around most of the differences, it’s in no way a guarantee—and neither are all couples particularly successful.

Sometimes there’s an imbalance—power, skill, social connections, looks, who knows what, but either way, it (or they) is causing a gap between the halves of the couple. Do they both see it? Both treat it as having the same importance? If there are multiple imbalances, do they balance each other out (or more importantly, do both of the lovers think they do)? How do they deal with it: trying to rectify it, letting the “expert” have control in his or her own area, avoiding the other person’s strong point so as not to feel inadequate? What sorts of emotions are involved, on both sides—how do they feel about the imbalance, and how does each feel about the other’s way of dealing with it?

And the quarrels—there will always be fights. But what happens? Does one have a short temper? Is another nearly unflappable? (If the answer to both is “yes”, does the latter exacerbate the former?) What tends to start them? Does someone always try to “win”? Successfully? Ar the arguments actually resolved, or do they just fade into the background? What’s important enough to fight over? Are those things really about what’s being argued, or are they about something else?

Think about these a little; it can add a lot of depth to any pairing.